If you’re one of the shy women amongst us you may have wondered what you can do to attract a guy because you are not the type to wonder over to him and ask him out – so what can you do?
What you can do is start working on your self confidence
First of all you need to develop some confidence. Even though confidence is connected to what you think about yourself, confidence in dating is more about doing, you actually have to do something to increase your confidence.
So this means that if your outcome is to be able to feel confident with guys you will eventually need to go up, talk to them, and be yourself. All of these are skills you can learn how to do well.
Ways to develop your confidence
To start, start focusing on the areas in your life where you do feel confident and make a goal to extend your comfort zone in this area. For instance, if you have any hobby that involves interacting with others, then irrespective of whether they are male or female start to initiate first, start to take the lead no matter how small first, in fact start to do what you would normally do and do more of that and make it bigger.
Next, when you have extended your comfort zone then use the successes of that to make it your goal to do something small like smile at a guy to get his attention, or if that is daunting, then go for something smaller like just saying hi or nodding your head in acknowledgment as you pass by someone.
Use the fact that you were willing to put yourself out of your comfort zone as proof that you can do it and you can even be successful at it.
An often overlooked part of developing confidence is to think about what you think about
So focus on what you tell yourself make it your mission to like yourself and think a lot of yourself- this is a must because without this you will not feel as comfortable around men and you’ll end up on the sidelines.
What you will then find is that you are feeling more confident in approaching men or just being around them. When you notice this, next practice talking to them as if you are all just friends, this will take the pressure off you having to be entertaining or gregarious.
Keep the conversation light and keep those thoughts about how you think you’re doing at bay by telling yourself these guys are just your friends.
Again this takes confidence but with practice you can actually start to feel comfortable with a guy.
Once you’ve done this then extend that to a group of men remembering that what you tell yourself will be conveyed through your body language so only say positive things to yourself.
Your thoughts can really show in your body, so with more positive thoughts circling around your head, you will start to show your confidence in how you walk, how you sit, how much eye contact you’re willing to extend to others. Over time you will notice you become more and more relaxed about all of this and forget that you were ever shy in the first place.
So to be more confident around guys, first practice in familiar territories, then expand that to more unfamiliar and you will notice that you are more natural and more confident with yourself and with a man enough to smile and feel okay when he comes over to you, and this will banish your shyness over time.