After becoming successful with women, you’ll eventually find one that you want to keep. For many guys, that is exactly what they want – they are content to find that one girl that is special to them, rather than feeling the need to continually find new girls to sleep with.
You should know, in as much detail as possible, what you are looking for in “a keeper.” This will be what helps you spot them.
Typically, this doesn’t have anything to do with physical traits. Usually, you’re already interested in her because you’re physically attracted. The “Keeper” qualities are typically personality traits that you find appealing.
Things like – is she funny? Smart? Does she make you feel good? Are the two of you sexually compatible? Do you share the same beliefs and goals?
When you know exactly what you’re looking for in an ideal mate, you’ll be able to spot her when she comes along, so you’re going to want to have some type of list that let’s you know what you’re looking for.
When you find a girl that you especially like, close to your ideal (very rarely, if ever, will you find a girl that meets ALL of your criteria), you should play a slightly different game than when you are when you’re just trying to get a girl into bed.
If you sleep with this girl immediately, she is going to suspect that you are looking more for adventure and excitement than for stability, trust, and a longer relationship.
And for some people, establishing a relationship after a one night-stand can be very hard. Why is this? Because if you slept together the first night you met, even if you do get into some kind of relationship, as soon as she goes out with her friends or you go out with your friends, the issue of trust is going to rear its ugly head.
How can she trust that you are not going to cheat on her? How can you trust her that she won’t cheat on you? So trust is going to be very difficult to establish fully, and trust is a crucial thing in long term relationships!
So I’m going to give you some advice about this problem. When you meet a girl you want to keep, a girl that you want for a relationship, don’t sleep with her that same night. Instead, just kiss her, or take her phone number after you have built rapport with her and then meet her some other day.
You can build a relationship from a one night stand though. You need to make sure that you aren’t too aggressive. A low key, attentive approach is far better. Make love to her; not just wild sex.
Cuddle her more, hold eye contact longer while having sex and also try to give her lots of orgasms. Let her gain immense pleasure from being with you. That will be some kind of guarantee that she will come back for more, and also subcommunicate that you like her, and that you care about her and how she feels.
Another thing to be aware of if you’re taking it slow – do not engage in straight intercourse the first time you’re with her. Instead, focus on other aspects of lovemaking, like foreplay, heavy petting, and other techniques. Holding off on the full-on act of sex will show her that you’re different from the others, and you want it to be something special.
When it comes to long term, healthy relationships, sex is the first thing that must be mastered. Having a healthy sex life will make the relationship a strong one.
After that comes the harder aspects – trust, comfort, and communication.
It’s important that you trust and feel comfortable around your partner. In fact, these two things usually go hand-in-hand. The more you trust someone, the more comfortable you are around them, and vice versa.
Trust comes from being honest with your partner, and comfort comes from demonstrating understanding and compassion.
But no amount of sex, trust, or comfort is going to happen without communication. This is the most important factor in keeping a girl for the long term.
Good communication is critical, because communication is what creates intimacy between two people. Being able to share one’s hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, bad days, and good days – this all goes towards creating strong bonds that last a lifetime.
When you communicate, you aren’t just sharing your thoughts, desires, and emotions. You are also sharing hers. If she feels neglected, you’ll find that the emotional connection is fading. Don’t be surprised if she strays.
Just be aware of what she is trying to communicate to you. Be open to it. If you do, keeping her around shouldn’t be too hard.